pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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