I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
