week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
