so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
