Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
