but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
