With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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