What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
