As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
