"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
