Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
