Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
