maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
These tits shall not be calmed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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