I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
