I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
