so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize