I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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