I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
