Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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