I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
