that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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