Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
home. puking in laundry basket.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
