Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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