So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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