ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
