I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Non-Jews are for practice
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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