i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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