And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
