I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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