Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im holly from the hills drunk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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