I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize