if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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