I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
