We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I need to sanitize my soul.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You are a genius and a whore.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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