It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Farmville is her only friend.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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