I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize