yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
me + whiskey = a bad person
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
