If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
zippers are such a cool invention
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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