You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
