i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
