tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you would pick up someone in the library
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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