I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
