Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
