Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
