i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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