Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
