Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
