You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
