Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
