I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
