what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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