He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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