I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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