i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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