So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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