does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
