my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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