Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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