sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
