First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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