My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
3pm strippers are depressing
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
