the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
