If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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