I skipped work to stalk him.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
