just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
