I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
