i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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