it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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