I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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