I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My ass is underappreciated
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
