I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
