I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
