Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
