he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
