he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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