Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
