We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize