What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
